What options do I have for an ex-husband who threatens me whenever he doesn’t get his way?

UPDATED: Sep 9, 2011

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What options do I have for an ex-husband who threatens me whenever he doesn’t get his way?

Divorced for 1 1/2 years. 12 year old son who resides with mom but has visiting days with dad. No specific schedule was defined until last month. All of the sudden his weekend scheduled to have our son does not work so he wants to change; I said no. Not going to continue to accommodate his girlfriend’s weekends. When I say no to something he wants, he threatens to expose me (using some video tapes that were made during the marriage). He told me that if I put a restraining order on him he will not only kill me but our son will become a ward of the state. And I believe him.

Asked on September 9, 2011 under Criminal Law, Iowa


M.T.G., Member, New York Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 11 years ago | Contributor

If you really truly believe that you are in danger and that he will follow through with his threats then you need to seek help to obtain a restraining order and a modification of the visitation to limit him to suoervised visitation with your son and maybe quit with the overnights on the weekend altogether.  He is essentially blackmailing you with the issue of the videotapes and you need to make him undetsnad that if in fact he does do anything with them you will look in to having him prosecuted not only for black mail but for what ever laws regarding the matter will apply.  Get legal help now please.  Good luck.

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