What constitutes rape?
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What constitutes rape?
I had accepted an invitation from a person of the opposite sex for dinner one evening. During the course of the evening we had several drinks. In a drunken stupor, we had sex. The next morning when I woke, we had brief casual conversation. As I attempted get dressed and leave, he came before and put his private parts in my face, I turned away and bent down to get my clothing from the floor and he came up behind me and pushed me to the bed and we had sex again. Is that rape?
Asked on July 22, 2011 Virginia
SJZ, Member, New York Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney
Answered 10 years ago | Contributor
If you said "no" and he persisted, then it's rape. Or if the only reason you did not say no or resist is force or the threat of force, that's rape. No one *ever* has a right to threaten or coerce someone else into sex.
If on the other hand you would rather not have had sex, but decided to do so anyway, then it's not rape. The issue is your consent: forcing physical intimatcy on your without your consent is rape, whereas if you consent, even if you wish afterwards that you had not, it is not rape. You should probably speak with a therapist, social worker, or rape counsel; this person can help you both understand whether what happened was rape, and can also advise you actions--both legal ones, like reporting this to the authorities--and health-related ones--like a medical test if you fear disease, emotional counseling, etc.
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