should I come clean about an affair?

UPDATED: Sep 30, 2022

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should I come clean about an affair?

I’m in the middle of an ugly child
custody and divorce battle. My
husband suspected I was having an
affair, which is true but I’ve
denied it. Should.I just cone
clean or could that hurt my
changes of getting my son?

Asked on April 2, 2016 under Family Law, North Carolina


SJZ, Member, New York Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 6 years ago | Contributor

If it comes out, it may have an impact on custody: not so much from the affair itself, but if 1) in having the affair, you did anything detrimental to/for your child (like missing activities or time with him to have the affair; not being reachable when you were needed); 2) the child was exposed to anything he should not have exposed to, such as in relation to infidelity, sexuality, etc.; and/or 3) if your partner is an unsuitable person to be in your child's life (e.g. any substance abuse issues, criminal record, other children whom he does not provide for or support, etc.). So there are definitely factors here that could come into play, and you are advised to consult  with a divorce or matrimonial law attorney--and if you are the middle of "an ugly child custody and divorce battle" and don't have one, get one *right* away--to examine your situation in detail.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: The Answer(s) provided above are for general information only. The attorney providing the answer was not serving as the attorney for the person submitting the question or in any attorney-client relationship with such person. Laws may vary from state to state, and sometimes change. Tiny variations in the facts, or a fact not set forth in a question, often can change a legal outcome or an attorney's conclusion. Although has verified the attorney was admitted to practice law in at least one jurisdiction, he or she may not be authorized to practice law in the jurisdiction referred to in the question, nor is he or she necessarily experienced in the area of the law involved. Unlike the information in the Answer(s) above, upon which you should NOT rely, for personal advice you can rely upon we suggest you retain an attorney to represent you.

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