When telling my husband I want a divorce, ifI cheated on him would that ruin things in a settlement?

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When telling my husband I want a divorce, ifI cheated on him would that ruin things in a settlement?

I fell in love with a male friend after he went through a hard time. I was there for him and we became close emotionally. I was vulnerable, too. My husband is inattentive, not affectionate, and non-communicative. Anyway, feelings developed with this other guy and we didn’t fight them. It’s been 5 months and we are in love and want a life together. Husband and I have 2 cars, 2 houses and 2 kids. Just how much do I tell him about this other guy? I don’t want to ruin my chances with getting my kids or my share of the property that I worked so hard to attain.

Asked on October 23, 2010 under Family Law, Pennsylvania

Answers:

M.T.G., Member, New York Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 10 years ago | Contributor

I think that this question is best asked to your attorney once you engage him or her for the purposes of obtaining a divorce.  At that point in time a privilege between you begins and he or she can advise you on the law and the outcomes in various scenarios.  An attorney can not advise you to lie or to commit perjury (which is lying under oath) during a trial. He or she can only advise you how the court views the issue of infidelity (or adultery in legal terms) in deciding issues such as asset division, custody rights, etc.  Most courts do not take that in to consideration these days except in some states for the purposes of alimony but particular judges may indeed weigh the factor subconsciously.  Get help.  Good luck.


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