What kind of proof do I needto proveadultery?

UPDATED: Aug 19, 2011

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What kind of proof do I needto proveadultery?

My husband and close friend had an affair. I have phone records as well as texting records of how often they called each other but I don’t know if that is enough proof in NY to support adultery. I think if I approached my friend and asked her to write up a statement of their relationship she would and would sign it. However, if possible I would like to avoid that. Should I go after her for it or is there some other type of proof I can use?

Asked on August 19, 2011 New York


S.J.H., Member, New York Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 11 years ago | Contributor

Proving adultery is not easy. You need to have pictures of them together actually engaging in relations, an admission by your spouse or proof that he fathered a child by another woman. However, with the new no-fault laws that were passed in October of last year, the need to do this has been eliminated. The only thing you need to do is state that the marriage has been irretrievably broken for six months and you get your divorce. The issue of adultery really has little bearing on the terms of the divorce unless you have a prenup which triggers a penalty clause, the children are exposed to the adultery to their detriment or you can establish a marital waste claim by his use of marital monies towards his affair. If you want the divorce just file for it and don't get yourself caught up in trying to prove the affair, it will be costly and emotionally draining.

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