What if both parents agree on child custody and visitation arrangements?

UPDATED: Jul 17, 2023Fact Checked

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Jeffrey Johnson

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Jeffrey Johnson is a legal writer with a focus on personal injury. He has worked on personal injury and sovereign immunity litigation in addition to experience in family, estate, and criminal law. He earned a J.D. from the University of Baltimore and has worked in legal offices and non-profits in Maryland, Texas, and North Carolina. He has also earned an MFA in screenwriting from Chapman Univer...

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UPDATED: Jul 17, 2023

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UPDATED: Jul 17, 2023Fact Checked

In all jurisdictions throughout the United States, courts strongly encourage parents who are separating to try to come to a reasonable agreement regarding child custody and visitation. It is generally believed that parents can do a better job than the court in deciding what is right for their child and their family. As such, when two parents make a child custody and visitation agreement on their own, the court is going to be responsive in formalizing that agreement and making it legal.

How can parents work together to establish a child custody and visitation agreement?


When two parents are able to come to a child custody and visitation agreement on their own, this is often referred to as a “parenting plan.” The parents can submit this parenting plan to family court, either as part of a divorce settlement or as a stand-alone agreement if the two parties were never married. The court may review the agreement to ensure there was no coercion or no history of abuse or neglect that could indicate that the agreement is not in the best interests of the child. Provided there are no compelling reasons not to approve the agreement, the court will formalize it as presented.

Once a child custody and visitation arrangement has been formalized by the court, it becomes legally binding, even if the parents came up with the agreement themselves. The parents must abide by their agreement, allowing visitation and sharing child custody as described within it. If one parent later does not follow the agreement, the other parent can return to court to have it enforced.

Can a child custody and visitation agreement be changed?


If both parents can amicably agree to a change in the child custody and visitation agreement, the court will recognize that change in the new formal arrangement. Should this prove impossible, then the parent who wants a change will generally need to prove to the court that some material change in circumstance has resulted in the original agreement no longer being in the best interests of the child.

If agreeing becomes difficult but the parents are still committing to establishing a workable parenting plan, working with an independent third party mediator or counselor is often a less eexpensive alternative than going to court.  If you do intend to work out your own child custody and visitation agreement, it is still in your best interests to have a lawyer. A lawyer can help you to keep emotions out of the discussion when forming your visitation and child custody agreement. He or she can also assist you in ensuring your legal rights are protected.

Case Studies: Parenting Plans for Child Custody and Visitation

Case Study 1: A Collaborative Co-Parenting Agreement

John and Mary, a married couple, decided to separate amicably after realizing that their differences were irreconcilable. They wanted to prioritize the well-being of their child, Emily, and reached a mutual understanding regarding her custody and visitation.

After numerous discussions and thoughtful consideration, they developed a comprehensive parenting plan that suited both of their schedules and ensured Emily’s needs were met. With the help of a family mediator, they formalized their agreement and presented it to the family court. The court, recognizing their joint effort, approved the plan, making it a legally binding arrangement.

Case Study 2: A Post-Divorce Adjusted Agreement

Following their divorce, David and Sarah had a predefined child custody and visitation agreement in place. However, as time passed, both parents experienced significant lifestyle changes that required adjustments to the original arrangement.

While they initially found it difficult to agree on modifications, they recognized the importance of adapting for the sake of their child, Ethan. Seeking legal counsel, they worked through their concerns and were able to come to a new agreement through mediation. The court acknowledged the change, making it an official modification to their custody arrangement.

Case Study 3: A Co-Parenting Plan With Legal Assistance

Michael and Jennifer were never married but had a child together, Liam. Despite their non-marital status, they understood the significance of a formalized parenting plan to ensure Liam’s well-being.

With the help of their respective lawyers, they collaborated on creating a comprehensive parenting plan that addressed visitation schedules, decision-making responsibilities, and financial support. Both parties felt satisfied with the arrangement and presented it to the family court. The court approved the plan, validating their commitment to being responsible co-parents.

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Jeffrey Johnson

Insurance Lawyer

Jeffrey Johnson is a legal writer with a focus on personal injury. He has worked on personal injury and sovereign immunity litigation in addition to experience in family, estate, and criminal law. He earned a J.D. from the University of Baltimore and has worked in legal offices and non-profits in Maryland, Texas, and North Carolina. He has also earned an MFA in screenwriting from Chapman Univer...

Insurance Lawyer

Editorial Guidelines: We are a free online resource for anyone interested in learning more about legal topics and insurance. Our goal is to be an objective, third-party resource for everything legal and insurance related. We update our site regularly, and all content is reviewed by experts.

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