What do I need to know regarding possible divorce?

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What do I need to know regarding possible divorce?

I’ve discovered my husband has been cheating on me again. Married 3.5 years and have 2 young children. Someone said I need to talk to a lawyer before I confront him with the ultimatum of changing or divorcing. What do I need to know?

Asked on February 10, 2011 under Family Law, Ohio

Answers:

SJZ, Member, New York Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 10 years ago | Contributor

First, you need to know what you want--would you believe him and stay with him if he told you that he'd change under the threat or duress of divorce; especially since he's apparently done this before? If not, you should probably go straight to divorce.

Second, you need to understand what you could expect in a divorce, in terms of alimony or support for  yourself, child support, and a distribution of assets. You also need to think about things such as health insurance (who pays or provides), life insurance, etc. Also, the home: who lives in it after a divorce, or you sell it and split the value? This is where speaking with a matrimonial attorney before  taking any action could be invaluable, since it can help you understand you economic resources and recourse.

Third, you need to think about custody issues--do you want full custody? Shared custody? What kind of visitation are you willing to allow? Etc.

Fourth, if your husband has a temper or anger/impulse control issues, you may need to think about your and your children's safety, too. This and the custody issue are also things to discuss with an attorney.

So in answer...definitely speak to an attorney and get advice before doing anything so life changing for you and your children. But if you will not trust or be happy with your husband no matter what he says, then you probably need to divorce and need to immediately discuss with an attorney how to do that in a way that best protects you and your children.


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