What can I do if my husband doesn’t love me and doesn’t consider us a couple anymore but refuses to get a legal separation/divorce or even leave the house?

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What can I do if my husband doesn’t love me and doesn’t consider us a couple anymore but refuses to get a legal separation/divorce or even leave the house?

He’s cheating on me and says he doesn’t love me anymore but wants us to keep on living together because he doesn’t want to deal with the cost of legal separation /divorce or child support. I don’t have a job right now but I can’t stand being with him if he doesn’t consider us a couple and is already dating someone else.

Asked on August 9, 2011 Illinois

Answers:

SJZ, Member, New York Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 10 years ago | Contributor

You can divorce him. No one can keep another married against his or her will--all the movies, books, etc. that feature one person refusing to grant the other a divorce are incorrect. (A refusal to agree to divorce can delay matters, but  not prevent divorce.) If you are the homemaker and primary care giver to any child(ren), you should be able to get spousal and child support; you will also be entitled to a share of the marital assets. He may not want to deal with the cost of separation, divorce, etc., but his preferences do not control you--you should consult with a divorce or family law attorney, with whom you can share all the details and your family financials, and who can advise you as to your options, what you could expect in a divorce, etc. Good luck.


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