What to do if my child’s mothers has been keeping my son away from me off and on for the last 2 years?

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What to do if my child’s mothers has been keeping my son away from me off and on for the last 2 years?

I went to court about 6 months ago for joint custody and things were OK for the first month. By the second month we made an agree to not go through the courts anymore and she would let me see him anytime i wanted to so i agreed. By the next week she was finding excuses for me not to see him again. At the next court date she told the judge I did nothing to see my child and the judge believed her and dropped the case. Now its been four months since I’ve seen my son. She called me this week and let me speak to my son and he tells me they moved out of state and are never coming back.

Asked on December 30, 2012 under Family Law, New York

Answers:

B.H.F., Member, Texas State Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 8 years ago | Contributor

Unfortunately, your remedy is going to involve another trip back to the court house to file a motion to modify.  Considering the history involved, you really need to get a set of visitation orders which set out specific and routine periods of visitation.  This will prevent some of the gaming that she appears to be doing.

Before you file, however, you may want to work on your case a bit.  If the judge believed her last time, you really want to make sure that you can document your efforts, attempts, and requests for access to your son.  For example, instead of just calling her to ask when you can see him, send an email.  It's in writing and it's a document that you can show the court that you've been trying.  If she responds, even better-- because you would then have additional documentation of her denying you access.  If you do talk by phone, keep a log of your efforts/attempts and a summary of the conversations.  There is not a set type of evidence, but considering that you've already had a negative result once, a little pre-planning will help significantly in getting the judge to understand your frustrations, and thus the need for standardized visits.


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