My child is 8 and refuses to see his father who abused him. he wants the judge to hear him .he is in counseling.not ur avg 8. he wants representation.

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My child is 8 and refuses to see his father who abused him. he wants the judge to hear him .he is in counseling.not ur avg 8. he wants representation.

My child is 8. He was verbally and physically abused by the father. His father has conducted numerours affairs in front of her.My son refused to spend alone time with him the last year he was in my house. He has stalked and harassed her and myself. He is a cop and I spoke to the chief who put a restrain order out on his work areas. He now filed a motion against me he said because I went to his chief.His principal said this is his best year in school . My son is losing sleep over the fact he has no say. when can a child have a say? Can I change a venue if he is a cop in the county with connect

Asked on May 21, 2009 under Family Law, New Jersey

Answers:

B. B., Member, New Jersey Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 11 years ago | Contributor

If your child's father has filed a motion against you, you should have been served with a copy of it, usually by mail.  And if so, please get an experienced family court lawyer to represent you in this!  There are different places to find a qualified attorney, including our website, http://attorneypages.com -- and the motion papers will have the telephone numbers for the legal services office and the bar association's lawyer referral service for your county.

Your son is at a borderline age, for the judge to talk to him.  A lawyer will have a better chance to make that happen.  The fact that you have your son in counseling is excellent, and the boy's therapist will, I hope, provide a report that helps you out.  The school could also support you.  These are all things that your lawyer should know, and she or he will be able to put these pieces of the puzzle together in the way most likely to allow the court to get the real picture.  I think you need to do this, because you have to expect that the father will have a lawyer and that they will have a very different version of events, to put it mildly.

Also, talk to your lawyer about the Prevention Of Domestic Violence Act, because stalking and harassment can be enough reason to get an order protecting you and your son under that law.  Violation of a restraining order is a crime -- and being convicted of that would probably cost the police officer his job.

In all of this, having a lawyer should counter-balance the police officer's "connections."  And I can tell you from my own experience that this is very far from the first time a police officer has been on the wrong side of a case like this, and it can even work against him before a fair-minded judge.  Don't go for a change of venue unless your lawyer recommends it.

You've been fighting hard to protect your son for a while now.  Keep it up -- but please, don't try to do this on your own, get the help you need, for his sake as well as yours.


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