I am currently getting divorced and my husband is useing threats

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I am currently getting divorced and my husband is useing threats

Everything is in his name or in our joint
name. His car is in the shop so he has
had my car, and he won’t give it back,
he is threatening to cut off my financial
support, stop paying for my apartment.
I watch our daughter full time and he
refuses to coordinate so I can work
evenings and weekends. I feel
powerless, and he knows it, he’s trying
to control me and I’m not sure how to
escape. What can I do?

Asked on May 9, 2017 under Family Law, California

Answers:

B.H.F., Member, Texas State Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 4 years ago | Contributor

You need to get into court to have ground rules laid down.  These rules will include who gets to use which vehicle, who pays what bills, who will take care of the children and when.  Once the court imposes some basic rules, the power is then equalized.  If you have an attorney, they should be able to help you file for and get set a motion for temporary orders.  If you do not have any attorney, start working with local legal aid groups to find one to assist you.  That's the basic legal answer.
The non-legal answer is seek as many resources as possible:  The biggest challenge for someone going through divorce when there is a financially abusive wage earner is just getting back on your feet.  Leverage couponing and online websites that open opportunities for saving or making money.  If your husband is going to be a deadbeat, then he may never be available to take care of the kiddos.  So, it will be up to you to find ways to work from home.  You should also seek out support programs like WIC and foodstamps to help reduce your food budget.  Finally, go talk to the local business administration and workforce commission about grants and support programs for receiving training or school funds to get the skills to get a better job or open your own business.   The best way to deal with a spouse that it trying to be controlling, is to simply take control of your own circumstances.  It's not easy....but it will be very satisfying to be finally fee of an ex-husband who does not recognize your value as a person.


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