How to termiate or reduce alimony?

My husband, who has been married to me for 2 years, has been paying alimony to his formal spouse. He has done so for 5 years (the length of his previous marriage was 10 years). He has legal custody of his 3 kids but hi ex stopped paying child support claiming that she cannot find a job (she got her green card). Also, when she has visitation she spends a lot of money on the kids (last visitation they went to spend the weekend to a hotel). How can we prove she is capable but intentionally doesn’t make an effort to find a job? Our kids are about to start college.

Asked on July 23, 2012 under Family Law, Virginia


M.T.G., Member, New York Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 8 years ago | Contributor

Please seek legal help here as this is a situation that is fact sensitive.  It is my understanding that in Virginia, the ability to change your existing spousal support will depend on whether this was permitted by the terms included in your original agreement as well as the law that requires a "change in circumstances" for the payee.  What "proof" you need that she really is self sufficient will depend.  But if she is not paying child support - which is her obligation to pay - please make sure that you go after her is there has been no order allowing that.  You may be able to use it as leverage for her to voluntarily reduce the alimony payments.  Good luck. 

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