What to do if my husband was charged with domestic violence and is in jail right now?

I’m not a battered woman and in no danger of my life; it was a fight gone bad we both got out of hand. He has his arraignment tomorrow and I heard that there could be a possible no contact order out; I do not want that. What can I do? I’m so lost; everyone keeps telling me I’m a victom and are not willing to help me. The truth is I feel more victimized by them than by my husband.

Asked on February 18, 2013 under Criminal Law, Idaho


B.H.F., Member, Texas State Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 7 years ago | Contributor

Domestic violence is a huge concern of law enforcement and prosecutors. Many women deny abuse, deny battering, or are just too afraid to accept help.  They may view your requests as consistent with a battered woman.  Their intentions are in the right place-- they just may not be right for you.  You have a couple of different options depending on your comfort level at this point.

First, set up a meeting with the prosecutor handling your case and tell them your concerns.  You may be getting roadblocks from victim advocates or secretaries-- when who you really need to talk to is the prosecutor in charge.  It is their decision on whether to proceed forward and how to proceed.  If the prosecutor is convinced that you are not a battered woman, they will be more willing to comply with your requests.

If you think that talking to the prosecutor is just another brick wall, consider visiting with a criminal defense attorney. I know this sounds weird, but they often have pre-existing relationships with prosecutors and can help you communicate your frustrations.  If the prosecution continues to ignore your requests, then the attorney can file a motion and your husband's behalf to modify any adverse conditions of bail.

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