Can my boufriend really get full custody based on his family being better off than mine?

He and I just found out I was pregnant. Every time I try to talk to him about establishing a plan for the baby such as insurance, doctor visits, budgets, our worries, he just ignores me and says he has nothing to say and that we aren’t going to plan this stuff. When I try to bring it up again because I feel that it is important to have a plan he just gets mad at me and starts belittling me and telling me I’m going to be a terrible mother and that he is going to sue me for full custody and he will get it because his family is better off than mine. I’m already so in love with my baby and it just tears me apart to think about losing my baby.

Asked on January 23, 2013 under Family Law, Kansas


M.T.G., Member, New York Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 7 years ago | Contributor

Ok take a deep breath.  You will not lose your baby.  There are various types of custody and although wealth means that you can pay a lawyer big bucks to fight the issue, it does not necessarily mean that the court will base its determination on that alone.  In fact, they use several factors to determine custody.  Now, generally speaking, he has no rights at all at this point in time.  You are not married and until he brings a proceeding to establish parentage and custody you are the only legal guardian of the baby once it is born.  Custody means two things: where the child lives most of the time and the right to make decisions such as schooling, etc.  Custody determinations are made "in the best interest of the child" and many factors go in to making that decision.  I urge you to speak with some one - either legal aid or a pro bono ("free") department of your local bar association or a law school clinic possibly in your area - about the situation in detail.  Good luck to you, congratulations and don't worry. I can tell by your just writing here that you are going to make a wonderful mother.  Just be strong and fight for your rights. 

MD, Member, California Bar / FreeAdvice Contributing Attorney

Answered 7 years ago | Contributor

It all depends on a number of factors; from your ability to care for this child, to be able to work and get ahead all while offering a safe and secure environment.  A factor will be considered on whether you will need state support.  It may very well be that after a certain length of time the child may be subject to a joint custody plan.

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