What do I file to ask my spouse to disclose the full amount in their 401k?

In North Carolina the appreciation in a retirement account duing the period of marriage is normally considered marital property and thus subject to equitable distribution by the court.  Some jurisdictions require each party to file an equitable distribution affidavit and share it with the opposing party. Retirement information should be disclosed in this affidavit. You also will want to serve the opposing party with Interrogatories and Request for Production of Documents which include questions concerning retirement accounts and a request for their disclosure.