Is it better to file for divorce or separation first before your spouse does?
Question Details:
My wife says for years I've never made her truly feel like a woman. Her sex drive is higher than mine. But she doesn't excite me because she drinks all the time and uses profanity constantly. we've tried to make it work for years but it's hit its peak?
In theory, it shouldn't make a difference who files first, if the second person files a valid counter-claim or cross-complaint. But, somehow, more often than not, it seems like there is at least a subtle difference, and it usually works to the advantage of the "plaintiff" who files first.
If you're certain that your marriage is over, go ahead and file for divorce. If she files first, it's absolutely not a disaster, or even necessarily a minor setback.
What makes the most sense, really, is to work out all of the issues about money and property (and the children, if you have any), as calmly as you can, just as if you were partners closing a business. If you can live without "winning" this, if you can find a solution you both can live with and move on, you can keep your legal bills to a minimum. And it won't matter who files first.
