If parents have joint custody. can the other parent send someone to pick up child, if both party's do not agree.

my daughter is almost 3. i live in CA. Her father in KY. its a KY court matter. We have joint custody. He wants me to bring my daughter to the air port to fly back with his aunt to ky. I don't know the lady either does my daughter. She will be scared to death. Can he legally make me drop my daughter off to this women? Can I make him pick her up? he has threatened an amber alert if i dont meet this women. what can I do?