If my spouse dies what debts of his will I be responsible for.

Well, marital property is all debts and assets acquired during marriage.   Generally, if these are considered joint debts, your husband's estate would be first liable -- but what is in the estate depends on how the property you each and both have has been acquired and if you have estate plans in place that automatically transition such funds to you. 

You may wish to consult with an attorney regarding estate planning, especially for the care of your children.

In terms of other related issues, there may be tax deductions available in your state for the care of your disabled/sick spouse.  Consulting your state taxing authority may prove helpful. Also review the insurance paperwork to see if there are provisions with respect to payment.

Iowa is not a community property state.  The debts of the deceased spouse do not become the debts of the surviving spouse (unless they were joint debts).  The estate is responsible for payment.  As a practical matter, to the extent that some estate assets may be required to be sold to satisfy such debts, a surviving spouse may be affected.

Note:  In some jurisdictions, the "law of necessaries" is followed.  Basically, this requires a surviving spouse to repay debts of a deceased spouse if they were incurred for the benefit of the family.  However, only those such debts would have to be paid.  Additionally, many places do not adhere to this doctrine.

You should consult with an attorney in your area as to your specific state law.