It is the custom, and there is no RULE, that the person who benefits from the QDRO split is the person who will get the QDRO entered by the court (signed by the judge) and then send a certified copy of the QDRO to the plan administrator.  I would imagine that your ex-husband's attorney would have done that.  I don't think he can or should force you to do his work.  It's to benefit his client that the QDRO was written, so he should have the judge sign it and he should send it to the plan administrator.