What to do if my wife never updated her insurance policy to show me as the beneficiary?

So what I am understanding is that a new poilcy was issued and that your wife never properly executed the designation of beneficiary form to add you, correct? If the form is blank then the policy has a default clause that probably names the estate as the beneficiary. Fill out the paperwork then make a claim.  When they deny you take the letter and the policy to some one to read.  Good luck.