i'm on probationfor DWI, lost my job unemployed and being taken to court - My ex wants MORE child support i need legal help!! i'm in NY she's inNJ

Actually, if your income has decreased since the original child support order was filed, it may be modified - down.  This would be based on changed circumstances; namely your unemployment.  This is true so long as you did not intentionally leave your job or are doing something so as prevent yourself from getting a new one.  If she wants to go to court, at this point, let her.  Just make sure to present your financial situation and bring documents to back it up.