Since you filed your income taxes jointly, any return will come in both your name and your husband's name.  Do not agree to transfer your share of the return to him.

In n=New York all income earned by either spouse in a marriage is deemed a marital asset, other than the procees of a law suit or an inheritance, provided they are kept separate.  It does not matter who the wage earner is.  As part of the divorce, the court will divide up the marital assets and debt in an equitable manner.  This is called Equitable Distribution.

You should immediately consult with an attorney so that you fully understand the concepts as well as your rights in a divorce.  If you can not afford an attorney, you should contact your local Bar Association and they may be able to refer you to an attorney for a consult.

Marital assets in New York are distributed pursuant to the theory of Equitable Distribution, which means "equitably" not "equally."   If you filed a joint tax return then the refund will come in your name.  It is assumed to be a marital asset so yes, you are entitled to the portion the court feels is equitable. 

Even if you are not working outside the home, what you do for your husband and family carries with it value and the courts balance that against the actual earnings of the other spouse.

I would suggest that you seek legal counsel on all these issues.  All your assets are distributed according to this theory and so they can be balanced against each other.  Good luck.