How to separate property in 2 different states?

Either Md or NJ could take jurisdiction of this case, not both.  Based on your present residence, you would probably end up in a NJ court.  The first thing is try to work this out yourselves. either totally or partially.  THAT IS THE BEST WAY TO GO.  Lawyers are time consuming and cost money.  The more you manage to agree to the less either one of you will end up paying for legal assistance.  There does come a time when should you work things out that a lawyer should be consulted.  I recommend early if for no other reaon is to be able to ask many questions and receive answers taking your individual circumstances in to considereration.  If you are at an impass and can not agree, a lawyer is highly desireable.  The fact that the houses are in two different states and are valued differently will not stand in the way of resolving this.  Note:  appraisals from a certified appraiser may be required eapecially if the parties can not agree as to value.