How do I go about declairing my home free & clear if the mortage company can not supply a copy of the loan docs to me?

You should talk to a real estate attorney in your area, who can probably clear this up with one or two nasty letters.  You can qualified lawyers in a number of ways, including our website, http://attorneypages.com

A mortgage that has not been paid off is a lien on the title, and you have every reason, and every right, to have that lien taken off now that you've made the last payment.  In most states, there are ways to do that even if the original mortgage document is lost, but whether the original document can be found or not, the lender will have to provide signed proof that removing the lien is okay.

The other side to this is that if someone has a lien on your property that they are not entitled to, such as this, and they don't do the right thing and remove it, you can sue them for what is called "slander of title."  So take the proof you have, that the loan is paid, and the two letters with their broken promises, to your lawyer, and he will put their feet to the fire.