Can my wife cash out my whole life policy and close the account without my permission or knowledge?

If you wife has the authority to do what you have said here depends on if she is the owner of the policy.  If your wife is the policy holder or policy owner of the isurance policy then she has the ability to make those ddecisions on the policy.  If she is not the policy holder or the policy owner and they allowed her to close the policy then they have a big problem on their hands.  And then the answer is no, she can not do that at all unless you sign the paperwork allowing it.  I would determine the answers to these issues and then decide accordingly how you are going to act.  Good luck.