Can my 12 year old daughter choose not to see her father and stepmother every other weekend?

my ex spends lil time with her. his new wife of 5 years hates our daughter. He is in contempt for medical support order. He leaves her at sitter when she would rather be here with family and friends. She has adhd and is reprimanded for behavior she cant control. he tells her if she wants to do something on his wknd to call ahead and then denies her request. my child is depressed and im seeking child phsych. as she stated that she wishes she could **** her stepmother or herself so all the arguing over there stops. Ive spoken with my ex and he says yea there is tention but he doesnt see a probl