Can I TOD my home to my wife when I die?

I applaud your planning ahead of time but unfortunately that is not how the transfer of title to real property is done when a person dies.  They are either left the property in a Will or the property can be transferred to a trust and then name the person the beneficiary of the trust.  But the simplest easy to have real property transfer from husband to wife and vice versa on death is to have a deed that names both the husband and wife as owners of the property with "rights of survivorship."  Then it passes automatically from one to the other in the death of one of the parties.  Please seek some help in your area.  Good luck.