a man and women give each other a ring and conmitt to each , that we are as good as married such as a secreat marrige, is this legal living togehe

I think you are talking about  something called "common law marriage".  First of all you would have to be living together under the same roof which is not what is happening here.  But that doesn't matter in this instance  because in Washington State there is no such thing;  there has never been a recognized common law marriage.  The only marriages that Washington does recognize are those which are created by state license, through either a wedding or civil ceremony, and later made a public record.

Many people mistakenly think that if you live together long enough, you are considered common law married.  The bad thing about this way of thinking, which is wrong, is that it causes all parties involved to believe there are pensions, inheritance monies, and social security benefits that will be paid to the surviving spouse.  This is not the case in Washington, so as you see it can create problems.